For me, getting an internship with PAWS Chicago has been a bit of a whirlwind experience. More often than not, people seek out internships, researching the positions and applying months in advance; however, my experience in securing my new position did not involve a formal interview or anything of the sort. Rather, I found myself being offered an internship at PAWS during one of my regular volunteer shifts at the shelter a few days ago. Caught up in the aforementioned whirlwind, I readily and excitedly accepted the position, thinking only of the ways in which the internship would allow me to help more animals more often. In the days since, during which I have actually slowed down and realized that this will be a significant commitment, my excitement has not faded, but it is now accompanied by at least a bit of anxiety.
I find myself most anxious about being spread too thin to actually put my entire self into everything to which I am committed and about which I am passionate. In addition to my new internship, I am also the Rehearsal Director of The Dance Company at Loyola, enrolled in 21 credit hours, and applying to the Big Brothers Big Sisters program as a Big Sister. Living in a service house, my roommates and I focus on doing everything intentionally, which means not just volunteering our time simply to do so, but really putting a purpose behind the service about which we are all so passionate. I worry that, while I am involved in all of these things because I genuinely want to help people and animals while simultaneously helping myself grow into a better person, I will not be able to be as fully, intentionally devoted to everything as I would like to be with the addition of an internship.
Other worries, or “what-ifs,” surrounding my new position at PAWS include whether I will be able to assume the role of a leader easily, whether my shyness will interfere with the increased interaction with potential adopters and volunteers that I imagine the internship will entail, whether I am actually knowledgeable enough about the care of animals to be successful in this position, and whether I can live up to the impression that the PAWS staff member seemed to have of me when she so generously offered me an internship without so much as an interview. While I truly believe that this opportunity is invaluable and that this role is a wonderful fit for me, as I absolutely adore animals and look forward to learning more about not only animal care and keeping, but also about relating to and interacting with potential clients, it is often hard, at least for me, not to become overwhelmed by the anxieties.
In order to learn all that I possibly can from this experience, I feel it is important to combat the “what-ifs” by, first, acknowledging their existence and validity and by allowing myself to grow into the role gradually rather than expecting myself to fit perfectly the first day. Mistakes will happen, as much as I hate to admit that, but I think that it is important that I remind myself at these times that I was offered this internship because I have proved that I am deserving of it and that I can fulfill the position in a responsible, successful manner.
As I embark on the journey that is an internship, I do so with both excitement and anxiety; however, that anxiety seems perfectly manageable when I think about how much this position will enable me to help the PAWS animals, like Susie (pictured above), a remarkably sweet 11 year-old Shepherd Mix who so deserves a family to cuddle and love her. If these beautiful animals can handle the stress that inevitably accompanies life at even the nicest shelter, which PAWS very well may be, I am sure I can overcome the worries associated with my internship in order to take full advantage of this opportunity.
Madison's Musings 